A Bike Trip Around The Island Doomed To A Bloody End
I decided to take some vacation in the end of July and do a circuit around the island.
But, after experiencing the busy and constant flow of traffic I decided to only do a circle around the lower half. This was all well and good however things came to end when I was slain on the road. Well OK not slain just hit by a car.
But, these things happen and since I am immortal I am not much bothered and in know way hindered by the blood that flows from my body.
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WOULD YOU HINDER ME!!!
FOOL YOU UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER GRANTED ME!
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!
Indeed, some are destined and ordained to be beyond the hand of mortal ken. But, even in this, the powers of Hell are given way to torment them. And always with great power comes greater foolishness. Who among us can argue the destruction of 1000 for the revenge of two eyes? The request was granted still and in that wheel perhaps he felt his end was better. A tiring turn grinding through life like some animal. But, I believe myself a wiser man, for though I have been wronged, I see the sadness of these poor Taiwan Idol Worshipers, Who like the harvest god worshipers of Philistine only wish for good and wealth to come to them and their families. It is shameful though that such an advanced industrialized nation would fear a sea goddess and burn incense to her, but then again one should only gaze about a nation debased by the need for wealth and industry and will begin to think the EPA was a gracious gift that saved our American earth and water. Pity you can not drink from a fountain in Taiwan though... A pity it is.
DO YOU THINK I FEAR SPEED AND DEATH? POWER AND SPEED ARE MINE!
(and no I did NOT crash that day when I filmed --- I crashed much later :( ----)
But I digress my point was I was hit by a car, and I bear the driver no hate, though I fear he is doomed. Not by my hand or the hands of the police- no he is doomed to have an accident again as he seemingly is recalcitrant in his sincere recognition of his driving error. But, that is the way of it, and I myself can not boast that I never make the same mistake twice... Ok ok he offered to pay me a paltry sum of 6,000 NT / 180 dollars for my trouble and HIS error he admitted he was in the middle of the lane during while in the horseshoe (actually he was more in my lane than my own but you know what they say about cutting corners--- leads to failure or in this case BLOODY BROKEN FLESH errr well no worries my lip is fine now... and my scabs are nearly flaked off)
However despite my great power I am constrained and limited by the steel of this age. Well errr make that carbon and aluminum. You see my body is indomitable - for with the magic necklace the Fey gave me I can not be permanently harmed. I lost the scabbard so later in Avalon the Fairies gave me this necklace. Yet, like Beowulf... or am I Beowulf? I get confused. My weapons of destruction fail against the hides of beasts I break them against. In this case my bike broke against the side of a Lexus sedan I hit. And the Metal of the wheel warped beyond repair when it impacted.
And so though I left with god intentions: To journey about Formosa and greet young, old, ugly, fair, and the small ones who I protect... my bicycle tour was violently ended by a man in a Lexus who drove in my lane.
It is a bit ironic really. There were many many times when I have been outside of my lane in a corner, or broken some traffic law. And yet I rarely crashed as a result. Most crashes I have had have been in turns when the tire slips out under me...
But in this case it was amusing and ironic since I was only 2 feet from the white line of the far right... this fellow was wayyyyyyy into my lane... in fact I would state he was past the middle and more into my side of the road then his... IT is funny since I so oft was illegal in my driving acts but in this case I was driving absolutely rightfully in my lane. I was doing this as from past observations I realized just how dangerous these drivers were.
But, That was the end of it ... lets reflect back on the dream before my Elysian fields were smashed....
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Dis here is Bob Lee ta-kin da trckter up fer some repairs cuz he done drove it off a green tea terraced cliff again
on the way to Jiji are some kinda strange tall tree things not sure whatch call 'em ain't got none round where i done lived
the green tunnel by Jiji
This is Sun Moon Lake
some sort of Pagan Temple at Sun Moon Lake
Well anyhow truth is I had a good time... and I did see the city of Hualien anyhow... and I already have been to Kenting so it is all good. After all, it is the best of all possible worlds. Yes I know there are certain problems but when free will is granted you then have a mix of good and bad put into the world well OK OK mostly bad but a righteous d00d like me is hard to find. However there were plenty of happy punks to get pictures with along the way...
I rode from Sejou to The High point and was hit about 2-3 miles down from the High point... so not too far maybe 100-150 miles but since I was constantly stopping to talk, eat, and take pictures it took a long time... Also I became really discouraged and irritated by the incessant unending and ever vomiting roads full of cars. So, I stopped and did not progress through so fast as I had assumed the traffic would disappear with the weekend over. But, on Monday the traffic was still thick and stupid. I say stupid in that the people were driving badly. Passing unsafely and speeding as the rule and not exception. It is not surprising that Taiwan beat America and Japan for traffic fatalities last year. Very sad, but not surprising to me...
Some Taipei Girl on vacation who wanted my picture so I got here friends to get ours with me in one too...
Ahh this is a cute Hip Hop Girl also on vacation...
the above is some lady who works at ahem I forgot but it has sheep on it...
This is a group of Mountain villagers the Man by me is toasted ... a bit sad as it was still mourning...
I do not quite understand why these girls constantly want to hug me it is strange... However let me point out that in many many of these pictures they also wanted to get a picture with their cameras too... In fact there are some cases where they got my picture with them and I did not get one two... But this is understandable as I am the Most Glorious and Redundant and C00lest and Handsomest and umm did I say I R00LZ FORMOSA BY DIVINE RIGHT OF KINGS!!!
I am ever kind and warm towards the cheery chubby convenience clerks who FEED MY INSATIABLE HUNGER FOR CHOCOLATE AND COOKIES. Verily, I would save this one from any raider who came upon her in her little merchant hovel.
Above are some scooter Bandits with their masks on about to surrender to ME THE RIGHTEOUS DEFENDER AND OWNER OF THE KINGS HIGHWAY! For I am the Lord of this Island After All.
What a charming pair I have in my arms... I look the White Prince with my Sunblock smeared all over my face so heedlessly. But, it just goes to show you I am a multi cultural Fellow who is not afraid to spread the love and show everybody he embraces their lives and hopes for them all to be worthily spent.
My 1000 NT or 30 dollar hotel room...
Above is an adventure Bike Lass of Formosa hard to find these ladies here...
Below is a very beautiful lass who begged me to stay in Taiwan and marry her- NOT she barely spoke English at all actually but I am not aloof to hold that against her...
Here is a very beautiful Lass and me a good shot taken by who else but her boyfriend...
We are C00lio. I'M BAD!
Sorry I forgot the name of this place it is by the roadside 15-30 miles from Sun Moon Lake umm in ahhh some area in ahhh Formosa I guess
Hmm well below me is some Lass who seemed tall and pretty even if her shirt is a bit suspect...
Here we have some gas station Ladies who thought to take comfort in my sweaty arms... ok ok one is a bit of a large lady - but her soul is beloved by Him as much as any and she may just have a genetic disposition to it, as well as adoring Royal Princes Like MYSELF THE FORMOSA PRINCE
The Gas Girl...
Here we have a very cute kid eating her Noodles... sorry I overdid the hungerrryyy voice
Taiwan Mountain tourist Spot
I am getting higher and higher into the sky...
Victory is Mine What Mountain can hold back THE FORMOSA PRINCE AND NEW LORD OF TAIWAN!!???
The Above is the High Country
Below is my meal at the 600 NT Hostel I slept at:
This is 100 meters from my hostel... mmm nice view for that but to cold to sleep outside in a tent for me (I am done with my Field Crusading Marine Days)
Ok and below is a view of the hostel and the mountains surrounding it sweet! I live there if I had a 20 hour a week job, they built a Burger King, Shoney's, cinema metroplex, and an artificial beach with good body surfable waves... yeah yeah remind me to do that when I got a gizillion dollars... oh wait if I had that much I just buy an island in the Pallawan and Palau ... ok scratch that I guess I will just bike it once in a while - but next time I will have an Abrams with a wedge head clearing the road for me ahh scratch that it might crack the pavement ok well mmm maybe just a police vanguard to clear the road ahead yeah yeah maybe then about half the cars would slow down who knows a few might even pull off for a legitimate emergency vehicle like everyone does in the US...
Here are some teachers I met at my hostel they insisted on getting my picture so I took one of them too... But I think they all just wanted an excuse to hug me...
mmm on my way down about 10 minutes later I get nailed by a car and NO i did not/ was not fillming when it happened I only did that when I had good vision of the road front/back. (When I got hit it was in a horse shoe part and the driver was WAYYYYYYY into my lane mmm tragic it was so tragic... ahh well waht is a front wheel and a campy break lever anyhow? esaliy replaced...)
Yes but my R00Lz is a benevolent and just one as I am not some Pagan King who will enslave them nor am I a Witch Doctor Dictator like Idi Amin who will eat them. The great Loss of Taiwan will be Corea's gain so soon...
posted by D @ 11:26 PM
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